If your college major had a slogan, what would it be?

"Want to become a snarky, obsessive, snotty nerd who can't sit through a Mel Gibson movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies and basically think that all other majors/bachelor degrees are beneath yours? Then become a History major today!!! Side affects might include but are not limited to prolonged virginity, excessive alcoholism, forced writing, boring reading, a lack of a social life, and an overly politically correct attitude on everything."