Why you have selected this project?

I didn't select this project, this project selected me! When General Greene picked me for the lunar scouting mission, of course I was thrilled, but I didn't realize I'd end up having to marry the co-pilot. If Madame President hadn't insisted upon the marriage to prevent scandal, I'd still be single. Scandal! Doesn't she know it's 1970? Still, Colonel Briteis is a sweet enough kid.

The project initially consisted of orbiting the Moon to seek possible landing sites for future missions upon the lunar surface. Thanks to that no-good spy Dr Wernher however, we ended up crashing on the Moon itself. Honestly, you guys in Security, it shouldn't be down to the lead astronaut to have to ask the 'Brooklyn Dodgers' question. I'm just glad Dr W didn't ask a counter question. I don't know the first thing about ice hockey.

So, down we all went. Lucky we didn't land on any Clangers. Dr W got himself killed soon afterwards, which is just as well, because three's a crowd, no matter what the circumstances.

The General decided the mission should become a project to build a Moonbase, though as we've only got a small module to use for construction, it's going to be pretty cramped for a while. Not to many places to get away from one's space-spouse. One moment she's all brave and feisty, the next she's crying and coming up with some nonsense about being "only a woman" and it's a man's job to scare away spiders. I admit, the ones on the Moon are 50ft tall, but hasn't Colonel Briteis ever heard of equality?

Honestly, it's like something from a Robert Heinlein story. And now we've got some stoned-looking dude from Minnesota making smart remarks over the space electro-tele-communicator with his two giggling robots. It's enough to have me walking on the ceiling.

At least this gives Polly Prattles that story she's always wanted. She never did approve of space travel. Fox News won't know what's hit it.

I've pieced together a few clips from my experimental transportable telephone-camera-hifi-messaging device. Now you can see what I have to put up with. Anyone got any good green cheese recipes?