Short answer..... No, but it is even better then I thought it would be.
My long answer is this which I wrote a few months ago:
“But things did not go the way I had planned”
Thirty years ago, I was gonna be married to Elvis Presley. I
was gonna live in a house with my best friend at the time and be Mrs. Elvis Presley. And that was all that I had planned.
Twenty five years ago I was gonna be a doctor, rich with a
big mansion and a blue corvette. Bitter from my parents’ divorce I decided I no longer wanted a husband and I wanted to have a hundred cats. I no longer liked Elvis. Things did not go the way I had planned.
Twenty years ago I found myself pregnant and dying to get
married. I was now going to be a great scientist so I could find the cure for cancer because my Grandma died of cancer. I no longer liked cats. Things did not go the way I had planned.
Fifteen years ago, I was finally getting married to the man I
loved, my daughter was in kindergarten and I was going to go to work so I could do it all, be it all and live the American dream. I no longer had time or money to be a scientist. Things did not go the way I had planned.
Ten years ago my marriage was struggling. I now had two
children, a part time job, and a sister who I was certain was gonna walk out of the hospital miraculously cured of leukemia. But things did not go the way I had planned. She got out of the hospital via Heaven’s gate and I spiraled out of control.
Five years ago I found myself trapped under the ruins of the
life I had created. We were evicted. My husband was in prison. I was stuck in the deceptive web of a love triangle; strung out on drugs, alcohol and partying. I now had three precious daughters looking up to me to be a role model. I was lost, angry and struggling to figure out where to go to get out of this mess of a life I thought I wanted by the deception and desire, the lies of the sinful nature I twisted around myself. But things did not go the way I had planned.
It has been over four years since I found my Church. It has
been over four years that I began a relationship with Jesus Christ. It has been four years that I have been clean and sober. It has been four years that my husband has been out of prison. We have come a long way, going back to college and getting a degree, holding down a career, getting off of government assistance, building a credit and bank account which was once destroyed, saving money to buy a house because we now have four precious children. And we are
thriving in our Church. But things did not go the way I had planned.
Three months ago my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and as it stands today I have no clue what to plan. I am scared but I am
walking by faith that it is no longer after 37 years MY plan but it is now HIS plan. Lord I give my life over to You. Mold me, shape me, like a lump of clay in a Potters hand so I can be conformed to YOUR plan. I don’t ever want to have to say “but things did not go the way I had planned.” I now only want to say “Thank You Jesus cuz this is part of Your plan and we are safely in Your hands!” Amen!
